Thursday, February 16, 2006
I bring great news, readers. I returned to THE SPOT WHERE EVERYTHING BEGINS AND EVERYTHING ENDS the other day. Please note that whenever mentioning this place, all letters must be capitalized. Though it was not as powerful as my previous visit, it still excited me to be there. The last time I was there it was a cold, clear February day, and I had just sold two dozen Walking Tacos during a cheerleading competition. When I stood in THE SPOT WHERE EVERYTHING BEGINS AND EVERYTHING ENDS, I espcaped reality for a minute. At the time I had no idea what happened. Returning to THE SPOT WHERE EVRYTHING BEGINS AND EVERYTHING ENDS the other day made me realize that selling Walking Tacos at a cheerleading competition on a cold, clear February day rips reality enough for one person to slide through, but only under those circumstances.
While I was outside reality, I had no form. I regret not being outside reality for longer… I could have learned so much. Maybe I couldn’t have. I didn’t really have a brain. That explains why I can’t recall anything. I conjecture that I must have transcended even the eleventh dimension into, dare I say, the twelfth. Dimensions beyond the third of truth may not really be dimensions… but planes of non-existence. How then did I return from a place outside the eleventh? Who knows? In any case, we can picture reality as an enclosed “sphere” (or it’s eleven-dimensional equivalent) and things that exist are contained in it. If a thing doesn’t exist, it is not in the “sphere.” If everything exits, everything is in our reality. Try not to lose me after this next thought. Nothing is still something. The fact we can call it nothing indeed implies it is something. Something is contained in everything (which we will denote as E[S]). To the best that we can, we will label that which resides outside reality as < >. It cannot have a name or else it is something. We should not even address it with the pronoun “it.” Henceforth, it shall always be called “< >.”
So, to wrap up:
E is the contruct of everything. The opposite of E is < >.
S is something.
e(X) is the existence function. If e(X) = 1, X exists. If e(X) = 0, X does not exist.
R is the whole field of reality. The opposite of reality is -R.
Def: For all X in R, e(X) = 1. For all X in -R, e(X) = 0
Theorem 1: e(S) = 1
Proof: I exist.
Theorem 2: If e(X) = 0, X = < >
Proof: < > does not exist.
Theorem 3: E[S]
Proof: See Archimedean Principle
Theorem 4: R[S]
Proof: See Theorem 1
Theorem 5: R[E]
Proof: Because S falls into both, there is no place in E that could be outside of R.
Yay! We proved everything exists! I may discuss in later blogs things called < >, which are elements of < >. I have to think for a while about those, though. Stay tuned!
Arthur Hovinc's Port Manteau 